God's Timetable

It has been awhile since my last post. I am feeling very depressed and don’t really want to spread that around. So, why post if it is just, “Poor, poor me.” Who wants to hear that? Well, maybe no one else. But that is exactly when God wants to hear from us. I think I am the exact opposite of everyone else. When things are going well in my life, I love spending time with God. However, when things don’t go according to plan, I pull away from God and try to take control back over my life. “God, you messed this up. Let me fix this now.” When thing are back to being good, I give it back to him. How messed up is that? So, I am working on that now. Although it is a very hard struggle for me.

I was very receptive of everything I was learning the first week of no income. I welcomed those life lessons. I noticed them right away and had a little smile on my face as I learned that letting your kids go back for four samples of the same thing at Sam’s is actually kind of fun. (Knowing that there would be no extra purchases of candy or gum at the check out, let me give in a little bit on the “free” stuff.) I thought, “Oh, got it God. The best things in life are free.”
Now though, I am done with those life lessons. There is no little smile as I “get” another one. Now, I am stuck with the reality of this situation. Now, I am stuck on God’s timetable. And, I will admit, I am angry. I want to know how this is going to turn out and I want to know NOW. I am definitely being molded and let me tell you….it hurts!!!